“I’m fine (without you), but… what if you were the only one? “
This piece explores the paradox of strength and vulnerability when it comes to losing someone irreplaceable.
I don’t need anyone. That’s what I’ve always told myself.
I’ve walked away from countless people.
I’ve discarded emotions as if they were just another fleeting thought.
I’ve detached myself so well that losing anyone never really hurt.
But… losing you?
That thought lingers.
And I don’t like it.
1. The Illusion of Being “Fine”
a. Independence is My Strength
- I take pride in my ability to walk alone without regret.
- I’ve cut people off without hesitation when they proved themselves useless, toxic, or just… irrelevant.
- I’m not the type to beg, to plead, or to look back.
b. Love is Replaceable… Or So I Thought
- If I lose someone, I assume I can always find someone else.
- Love, attraction, companionship? They come and go.
- Nothing ever felt irreplaceable.
Until you.
2. What If You’re The Only One?
a. There’s No One Else Like You
I don’t think I’ll ever find another person like you.
Not in this city, not in this world.
I don’t even think you exist in duplicates.
b. I Don’t Want to Miss You
- I don’t want to feel your absence.
- I don’t want to wake up and wonder how you’re doing.
- I don’t want to carry the weight of “what if.”
c. This Isn’t Just About Love
- I’ve thrown away love before.
- I’ve walked away from attractions, emotions, and attachments like they were just passing clouds.
- But you are different.
And different is dangerous.
3. Losing You Would Be Different
I’ve always believed that nothing is permanent, that everyone is disposable at some level.
But what if I was wrong?
What if, this time, walking away wouldn’t be so easy?
- What if your absence doesn’t fade away like everyone else’s did?
- What if I end up missing you more than I can tolerate?
- What if, after all this time, I actually found someone I can’t afford to lose?
And that is terrifying.
4. The Paradox: Strength vs. Vulnerability
I am strong. I have always been.
But strength doesn’t mean I’m immune to loss.
a. Being Strong Means I Can Walk Away, But Do I Want To?
- The easiest thing to do is to pretend I don’t care.
- The hardest thing to do is to admit that I do.
- And for once, I’m questioning if leaving is really the best move.
b. Vulnerability Is a Risk, But Some Risks Are Worth It
- Letting someone in is dangerous.
- But shutting them out forever could be a bigger mistake.
- What if I’m not as fine as I think I am, without you?
5. The Final Thought: Will I Stay or Will I Go?
I don’t know what to do with this feeling.
- I could ignore it.
- I could suppress it.
- I could convince myself that I’m fine without you.
But the truth is…
I don’t want to lose you.
What would I do without you?
You…complete…me… (Ambience: talking like a psychopath)
Not because I can’t.
But because I don’t want to.
And maybe, just maybe, that makes all the difference.
“The scariest thing about loving someone is realizing that, for the first time, walking away might not be an option.”
Because for the first time, maybe I’m not actually fine… not without you.
I’ve always been the one who could stand alone, who could walk away without hesitation, who never needed anyone to complete me.
But now, something feels different.
Maybe I was wrong to think I was immune to this—immune to missing someone so deeply that it disrupts the very rhythm of my days.
Maybe for the first time, I have to admit that your presence wasn’t just a fleeting comfort; it was a part of my balance, my world.
And without you, I’m realizing that “me being fine” isn’t as simple as it used to be.
