After I lost you, for a few weeks, I felt nothing, I didn’t miss you neither did I try to contact you.
But after years in solitude, I tried to find the perfected you with so many tries I’ve lost counts, to no avail.
There are no perfect human, neither a human the same “almost perfect” as you.
It was my fault to let you go, it was my ego, it was me.
But, I now realised that with you, everything might be perfect or not.
You wouldn’t give me so much freedom with trust as I am now.
You wouldn’t love my kid as my spouse has been.
And I’m thankful to that, praise God, knowing you was one of the best things ever happened in my life.
By knowing someone like you, I’ve felt that no other human could replace nor incite me to make another great sins.
No one else worth it.
Not like everybody else who would immediately commit infidelity in the drop of a hat shall the chance to do that arose, I won’t.
Because I knew the best taste in human, and I felt that they won’t give me even half of it, as they advetised.
Love is funny thing.
I can’t live without it,
But I can get rid of the toxic surrounding it,
Or I can isolate is as the core of life, away from outside interferences.
That way, as I said to you back then, “my love will never die, as long as I live”
I didn’t lie, but the hidden truth is only “with or without you”. ?
And if I were asked to choose you or my spouse, I’d still choose the latter.
Because, although she is not loving me the way you did, but she loves me enough and lovingly taking care of my kid. (Praise God)
Whether I like it ot not, you were a part of me, so it would be weird if you didn’t appeared in my dreams.
Dream is a mysterious thing, you were appeared even when I didn’t think anything of you, and it saddened me that I wasn’t meant to be with you.
I don’t have anything to block you from my conscious minds, let alone my unconscious minds, so I embraced you instead, by admitting that you were one of the best I have in my “arsenal”.
That was a good times, whenever I see your eyes, I felt like the luckiest person on earth.
But time, money, and job, drifted us apart.
It would be complicated if we were to meet again now or sometime in the future, so it would be best to stay as we are, to live as we are, until the end of our lives.